Buy hardcover copy of “Infinite Jest” at brick-and-mortar bookstore. Touch paper and feel connected to hundreds of years of printed language. Flash cashier knowing, learned smile. Commend self for protecting bookstores from onslaught of crass digital commercialism.
Walk home and experience heft of text as bag handles dig into palm. Embrace heaviness as evidence of import. Thumb nose at pedestrians who aren’t carrying impressive, heavy books. Feel smug.
Brush up on book on Wikipedia to corroborate thin claim of readership. Begin reading Wikipedia entry multiple times, but repeatedly get distracted by need to research use of CBD oil for dog anxiety.
- How To Read “Infinite Jest” (via newyorker)
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